Role of fathers

Fathers bring unique and indispensable qualities that mothers do not normally bring to childrearing. They may not be present with their kids all the time, but just by being involved with their families whenever they have the time, they provide a sense of security, completeness and authority to both the children and the mother. It’s a well-known fact that father-less children or those who were raised without them are more prone to be delinquents, have problems with marriage and become social outlaws. Fathers play a vital role in the child’s overall development.

Have you ever thought about how, as a father, you are influencing your children’s development? Which of the skills and qualities of your children can be attributed to your way of parenting? Your parenting style and character has a very powerful impact on many positive and important qualities of your children.

Read on to find out about how fathers shape their children’s development by teaching them the art of living a successful life. Remember that your father also imparted these values to you by being caring, loving and patient with you.

Social stability
During infancy, when the father attends to the needs of his baby promptly, appropriately and consistently, the baby develops an attachment to his father. Psychologists are of the view that babies with secure attachments to their parents have better chances to develop into happy, successful, and well-adjusted children and adults. In one study, baby boys whose fathers engaged in affectionate and stimulating play during infancy were more popular later as school children.

Children with involved fathers who played with them during infancy, preschool age and school age are popular with other kids because they get the opportunity to develop emotional intelligence to deal with their peers, elders and juniors. When children understand their emotions and know how to control them, it makes them more popular with other children. For example, one study found that primary school children scored higher on tests of empathy (Empathy is the ability to see a situation from another person’s point of view) if they had secure attachments to their fathers during infancy. These children were able to recognize how other children felt and took steps to make them feel better.

Not only playing but day-to-day interactions of a father with his children– acknowledging his children’s emotions and helping them deal with bad and good ones–helps children to get on well with others, including their own siblings and peers. A father’s involvement in the care of his young kids has a lasting effect well into adulthood. Fathers, therefore, help children build strong social relationships during childhood and later in life.

Problem-solving and emotional intelligence
Playing with fathers gives young kids verbal and physical stimulation. Fathers make playing dynamic, inspiring and exciting. This is in contrast to mothers who play in a more repetitive and protected manner. Therefore, children love to play with their fathers.

Fathers also spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their children than do mothers. They may play physical rough-and tumble games but at the same time set limits too. This helps children glean the concept of ethical limits with regards to physical interaction. The types of games fathers play with their children prompt the kids to work out by themselves in achieving their goals, stimulates them to brainstorm and develop problem-solving and motor-skills.

Playing with fathers also helps children build and develop emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify one’s emotions, recognize and accept the emotional experiences of others; understand the causes of emotions and regulate one’s own emotional behavior. Fathers make sure that bad behavior is not tolerated during playing, establish fair rules and encourage their children to follow them. This helps children grasp the concepts of emotional intelligence.

Competence, responsibility and self-esteem
As children reach school-going age, they gradually acquire a sense of industry, or the ability to master a skill, test it out and grapple with the feelings of success or failure. Learning and succeeding in such skills is important to children’s developing self-esteem. Fathers play a vital role in this area. According to a parenting expert, ‘the quality of the father’s involvement during this period is a crucial factor in determining whether the child develops the confidence and competence to meet new challenges in a positive manner.’

Fathers tend to challenge children to try out and explore, acquire experiences and become more independent. This might be one of the reasons that they influence their children’s competence. Challenged children are more likely to develop problem-solving skills. In one study, children whose fathers expected them to handle responsibilities, such as crossing the street, or taking a bath alone, scored higher in tests of thinking skills. Accomplishing tasks at this age is vital to building confidence, and fathers’ involvement is at this age is more crucial than mother’s involvement in influencing self-esteem.

When fathers encourage their children to take on new challenges and learn new skills but also set standards at the same time, they also teach children to take responsibility for their own actions. Fathers themselves represent a model of responsible behavior for their kids. Children learn to have an internal sense of control, which makes them understand that their successes and failures are due to their own efforts rather than due to external factors. Therefore, children tend to take more responsibility for their actions and not blame others for their mistakes.

However, though fathers usually have a positive influence on their children’s sense of industry, competence, and responsibility, some fathers can bring about the opposite effect. If a father discourages his kids and intrudes on potential learning situations by being too restrictive or imposing his own solutions, he will have a bad influence on his children. Whatever the reason for this type of paternal behavior, it can hamper children’s development of creativity, motivation, and problem-solving, making them less responsible and more dependent.

Becoming a good father is somewhat similar to becoming a role model and a hero. You are imitated; your actions observed, gleaned and incorporated. It becomes imperative for you to be a good man to make your children even better!